That's what comes to mind when I think about my childhood.
It wasn't really anything in particular that created this dynamic, it is just the way I remember thing.
Without going into too many boring details, things in the family got bad enough that there was a split and a going of separate ways.
I was 7 years old when this happened, and I remember my Father took my Brother and I, and with much of his family in tow (my uncles, aunts, and grandparents) we all loaded up 4x4's and hit the road.
We spent the next 6 months driving around the outback of Queensland and the Northern Territory, living in tents, close to the Earth, and this was some of the fondest memories of my life.
When we were traveling, the discontent I felt within myself on a day to day basis seemed to dissolve. Being in the wild places of Australia, living with the Earth, hunting when we needed food... it all made sense!
As I grew older and was trying to create a life for myself, I had this constant feeling of 'not quite right' in my chest, and something always felt amiss.
I joined the Army and spent five years of my life as a soldier, driving myself into a state of medicated, clinical depression after serving in East Timor as a rifleman.
After leaving the Army, I took the next 10 years on the road, traveling the world and trying to find my place in the bigger scheme of things.
Something I started relying on for my own peace of mind was returning to the wilderness every chance I got. This saw me exploring the deserts of Australia, the jungles of Northern Thailand, the Fijian Islands, and the Cascade Ranges of Western United States.
After returning "home", I would take time whenever I could get it and venture into the jungles of the Border Ranges between Queensland and New South Wales.
I would drive down into the jungle, park my vehicle, load up my backpack and walk off trail into the jungle. I would quite literally walk for days, getting myself well and truly lost, and then I would take the next several days to find my way back to my vehicle.
Something I began noticing each time I went into the wild world was that I would feel like there was no worries... I was completely at peace during my time in the wilderness, surrounded by the elements, and I would bring this peace with me back into my life for some time.
This led me to the understanding that the same primal forces which are present in the natural world, are also present within each of us us, and when we choose to hide away from the raw elemental power of nature, we are actually severing a point of connection within ourselves.
This lack of connection is the exact same thing that leads us to dis-ease, illness, depression, anxiety and all manner of ill.
With this understanding firmly anchored, I studied Western Herbal Medicine, Shamanism, became a Reiki Master, and began embracing everything I could that took me back into connection with nature.
It was re-establishing this connection that brought me to the concept of EarthBorn!
Wanting to show others the way back to themselves, and trusting that nature is the key to this self-connection.