How Trauma Brings Emotional Maturing to a Grinding Halt

That's how old I was when I stopped aging.

Don't get me wrong, my body kept growing, and I learned a bunch of intellectual stuff (like how to invest money, pay bills, drive a car, and bake a lasagna), but on an emotional level, I was STUCK AT 13!

Whilst it's not super important right now what actually occurred that stopped me from emotionally aging, suffice to say that there was a traumatic event in the home environment which fractured a part of me, and left me caught at the age it all unfolded.

Trauma tends to do that!

See the reality is, when we encounter something that is beyond our scope of processing it, we store it in our body and stop ourselves from continuing to emotionally develop beyond it until we have the ability to process and release it.

Which is exactly why we have a bunch of middle aged men operating in the world from the emotional age of 7, 10, 13, 15 etc.

The first thing to understand is also the most important:

It's NOT your fault that it happened, and there is no shame in admitting it did.

We absolutely have to begin moving away from the idea that we "have it all together" when we actually don't... That is a huge block keeping us from everything we truly desire in life.

Just as is commonly said, "the first step to overcoming the problem is admitting there is one to begin with!"

So how do you know that you've stopped emotionally maturing?

That's really simple... Look to how you act when something goes "wrong", and then look at how your 7, 10, 13, 15 year old son, daughter, niece, nephew or neighbor acts when something doesn't go to plan.

Do you see the similarity in behavior?

Be brave when answering that question.

Trust the process here.

Emotional maturity is one of the cornerstones of a truly successful life (success being related to all aspects of a desirable life - financial, health, relationships and creative expression), but it also comes at a cost.

WHAT COST?

You MUST be willing to surrender to the notion that there is some work to be done in order to process the traumatic event which stopped you from emotionally maturing. Accept the fact that you might not have it all together right now, and be OK with that.

Choosing not to see and recognize there is Inner Work to be done doesn't change the impact it's having on your life.

When all is said and done, it's a beautiful Journey of Self Creation to a Story and Identity that truly serves everything you desire in life.

Now, be brave Brothers... How old were you when you know in your heart that you stopped emotionally growing?